I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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