So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize