they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Life is so much better after having sex.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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