i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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