Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
