ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
