Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
