There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
