It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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