i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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