just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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