At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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