He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
