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he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Someone came in the potted fern
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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