Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I will die if light touches me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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