just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
