I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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