Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
