yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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