Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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