Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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