Duck Duck Cougar?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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