The maid of honor just puked.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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