There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
