i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
