It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
