Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i think i just lost a toe
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize