i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
