MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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