White coat. Heels.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
