I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
