I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize