i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
