I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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