Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
