you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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