i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
