bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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