"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
