I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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