I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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