i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Houston, we have a squirter
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize