I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
