he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
