there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
