I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
