we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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