so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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