Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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