why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
