You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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