Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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