so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
