i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have tasted many bathrooms
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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