meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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