I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
