so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize