she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
