If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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