I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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