My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
