Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
